What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 06:12
What did i know ?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
How would you feel if your girlfriend had dick pics on her phone?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
So whats the point in blame.
Put me off passion for life!!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
When was the first time your wife had beastiality?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He knew the spot.
All the time i was locked up.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
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One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I was seconnd youngest,
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
If babies could write, what questions would they ask on Quora?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
What are you struggling with in your life? What would you like to have instead?
So, i spoilt her more .
I think the readers, may guess!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
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Im dying but, im not bitter.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
And i lived it daily.
Who then, do I blame.?
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I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She married twice! .
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
She wouldn,t have been !
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
We were not on the streets..
Can you share the entire summary of your spiritual life?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
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Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
We all went to grammer schools
I was scared of men, in general
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
He resisted the act ,that day.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
This is soul school!.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I don,t even have a pension.
I was very sick at this time too.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Comes on , in middle age.
I waited trembling.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But it wasn’t much.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
She was in good health!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Ive learnt so much.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
My family never makes their pension either.
I said to her
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I write beautiful poetry .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
She loved him until the end.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I was 9 years of age.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Why did i forgive my father ?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I never cut or harmed myself..
But, we were locked up after school.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
When she asked me how she looked .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I have no regrets .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
They are buried together, in the same grave..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
(And it was in our own minds.)
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Would this be the day?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
My life is so biszare .
As i do to all so called friends.?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I could never make a relationship work though!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
It was going to be , some day.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
She found it foreign!.
One cannot live in the past .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Especially a lifetime of it.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I will be 64.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Im still living with it.
But ive been too sick for many years..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.